September 18, 2006

Jew-S-A! Jew-S-A!

JR has his nipples molested by Jew-S-A host, Scotty the Blue Bunny

I kept this a secret, because I didn't want my friends to come. But as a favor to my dear friend, Alyssa Abrahamson, Director of Arts, Jewish Culture, and Adult Education for the 14th Street Y, I participated as a contestant in the first annual Mr. & Mrs. Jew-S-A Pageant, part of the Oyhoo Festival.

I came in last place.

I suspect this is because my talent consisted of merely showing some of my cartoon animations, while my talented co-contestants busted their asses with live performances, like Rick Barinbaum playing an original composition on the piano, or Shoshi stripping to the tune of Holla Back Girl. Or maybe it was the fact that my answer to the question "What is your favorite mitzvah" was "Shatnez".

Despite coming in as last runner-up, it was a fun event, and I am happy to make a fool of myself for your entertainment! As long as it brings you closer to God.

Mr. Jew-S-A Titleholder and gourmet chef, Noam Dolgin!

The new Ms. Jew-S-A, half-naked bagel boa-wearing tap dancer, Ariel Woah!


Esser Agaroth said...

B"H (eyebrows raised) Um...'K. Well, um, looks like you a nice time.... Um,...maybe nipple guards would be in order next time... Just a suggestion....

Anonymous said...

William - You were great! I was very impressed by you and how your showed off your stuff. Very fun and hot! If I would have been a judge.....