April 20, 2006

Public Jewry Number One

I didn't think much of it when, a few days ago, I started receiving more Jewishy e-mails than usual in my Myspace account. But when a friendly Myspace member contacted me with a rabbinical question, explaining that she figured I'd know the answer because I came up first in a Myspace Search for "Jewish", I checked for myself. Sure enough, she was telling the truth.

So as of April 20, 2006, I am currently the most Jewish thing on Myspace! That's cool, considering Myspace has over 72.5 million registered accounts. And with Jews representing 0.3% of the world population, the Myspace Jewish community is probably around 217,500. I have no idea how I ended up with this prestigious ranking. It could have something to do with the fact that my member name contains the word "Jewish". And I suppose I look Jewish. Nonetheless, I am honored that JewishRobot is the #1 Jewish Myspace profile.

Gosh, there are so many people I need to thank! First, thanks, Mom and Dad (Jews), for having me circumcised and making sure I attended Hebrew school! Couldn't have done it without you. And my sisters (Jews) and niece, Lola (a Jew), who have supported me through all this. I'd also like to thank my accountant, Allan Shapiro (a Jew), and my landlord, Sheldon Gold (a Jew). Thank you, G-d ... and thank you, Jesus (a Jew)! I may be #1 now, but you're still the original King of the Jews.

And, of course, thank you, Tom (not a Jew).

6 comments:

pdberger said...

Congratulations to Jew. This must be a very exciting time for you. But what I fail to understand is why you had to make up that story about the email from the MySpace member with the "rabbinical question."

Come on Top Jew, there's no need for these little fibs. We all know you're obsessed with your MySpace ranking. Why else would you have paid that woman to let you hold her baby and pretend she was your niece? You don't even have a sister!

Ben Baruch said...

Ah, but Berger Boy, I really did receive an e-mail asking me a question about Judaism (because I'm the #1 Jewish guy). The question was: If Jesus' Last Supper was a Passover seder, why is Passover not always celebrated on Easter?

I told her to Google it.

Anonymous said...

This is boring. Are you shagging anyone?

Ben Baruch said...

Yes, anonymous, I am shagging your mother ...

And I AM YOUR FATHER!

Das Ben said...

hey Ben the jewiest jew on jewspace. someone asked me the same question about the last supper being a seder, but they asked it as: If Jews don't believe in Jesus, why do they celebrate his last supper?

eek.

btw, one of the google adds that comes up when i check your site is for www.jewsforjesus.org.au . did you know you were (inadvertently) promoting them?

anyway, over here in NZ we love SHABOT6000, keep 'em coming.

ben

Anonymous said...

After all i tried to do for you I'm really hurt.